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Holes and Hells and Hallelujahs

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried,
but actually you’ve been planted. ~ Christine Caine

Our mother used to tell us when we were kids that she didn’t care if we grew up and dug ditches, as long as it was good, honest work. Well, I can say I’ve done a lot of digging in my life, and mostly it was holes that I dug—in front of where I was walking!

I’d dig a hole…and fall in, and while I was trying to climb out, I’d dig myself in deeper.

When I finally climbed out, I’d turn around and fall back in.

After great effort, out again I’d come, bruised and battered. And maybe some time would go by before I forgot the hole and fell in again.

Some of those holes were deep! Deep and dark and cold. A few of them amounted to abysses. And several I lived in for a long, long time.

Sounds monotonous, doesn’t it? I was my own worst enemy! It took me a great while to learn my life lessons. I do know now that I’d rather avoid the crevasses, in the future and certainly the nearly bottomless pit.

With the coming of the new year, many people make resolutions. Instead of setting myself up for possible failure, I think I’ll just write down some thoughts to remember. Guidelines, like allowing. Simply allowing.

  • Allowing blocked energy (which creates pain) to flow out of me. (This will take practice.)
  • Allowing Spirit to guide me.
  • Remembering the grace that I live in as a fish lives in water, and allowing goodness to flow to me. (This will take mindfulness).
  • Allowing myself to take risks, without worrying over results that turn out not-so-successful.

ChaosInSoulBirthsStars

I know how to allow myself to be me, but I also feel Spirit nudging me to grow into a bigger, more “out there” me, a Spirit-Aware Self. (This will take both mindfulness and practice.)

I was brought up to serve, but maybe it’s time to allow the fruits of my labor to come to me. It may be time to allow that life is not all struggle and hard work, but pleasant. A joy that yields many smiles.

Yes, enough of the holes. More than enough of the hells. Let’s move on to Hallelujah!

And if you need a reason to smile, oh, do contact me. I’ve plenty of ropes and ladders, and hugs that bind better than bandages.

love, chelle

7 thoughts on “Holes and Hells and Hallelujahs

  1. Hi Chelle,

    Thank you for your sharing about falling into self-inflicted spiritual holes. Perhaps you’re already familiar with the following, which certainly resonates!

    AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
    By Portia Nelson

    I

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in
    I am lost…I am helpless
    It isn’t my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    II

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can’t believe I am in the same place,
    but it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes me a long time to get out.

    III

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in…it’s a habit,
    my eyes are open,
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    IV

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    V

    I walk down another street.

    ***

    Here’s something else which seems relevant:

    THE GUEST HOUSE

    This being human is a guest house .
    Every morning a new arrival.

    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.

    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still, treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.

    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    meet them at the door laughing,
    and invite them in.

    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.

    ***
    — Rumi

    Finally, with the following words, I wish you a joyous, blessed, and profoundly adventurous New Year!

    “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

    — Helen Keller

    1. I love the poem—and insight—from Rumi. Yes, all things serve to lift us, if only we allow ourselves to rise!

  2. Michelle, again, I appreciate your wonderful insights. It helps as reminders for gratitude and allowing. I, too, like to serve and give, but it’s OK to also enjoy and receive. I don’t remember who said it, but it was noted that one should let their cup fill, and then give from the overflow. I like to visualize this, too. I have many things to be grateful for. ✨

  3. wow can i ever relate to that ,i have learned to walk around most of the holes in my, now but as i get older, i may need to yell out , help me ive fallen and i cant up, life keep you on youre toes but the challenge, keeps us going , a body in motion tends to stay in motion. thank you for a inspiring word love you Chelle,

  4. I have heard insanity can be defined as making the same mistakes over and over again thinking the results will be different the next time. Bob, thank you for the lovely poetry with which I can identify. Chelle, if we knew all there is to know and have perfected everything, what fun would life be? I think being brought up to serve is a component we should all incorporate in the task of raising children. However, the component of being the receiver can slip away. Harmony between the two extremes is key. Nourishing ourselves is equally important. To move the energy through you must learn transcendental meditation and find synchronicity with the universal flow. When you can watch the colors swirl behind your eyelids without having any thoughts, you are there. Transcend the symbolic thought.

  5. My friend and energy worker, Kay, observes that if we allow dirt to fall into the hole around us, we can STEP out, and the hole is filled up, never to pose a danger again! What a wonderful image of how chaos creates goodness!

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